Larry Wan
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS DATA SHEET
Element : Woman
Symbol : WO
Atomic Mass : Accepted as 55kg, but known to vary from 45kg
to 225kg.
Occurance : Large quantities in urban areas, with trace
elements in most other areas.
PHYSICAL
PROPERTIES
(1) Surface normally covered in powder or paint film
(2)Boils at nothing, freezes for no apparent reason
(3)Melts if given special treatment
(4)Bitter if used incorrectly
(5)Found in various grades, ranging from virgin material to
common ORE.
CHEMICAL
PROPERTIES
(1) Affinity to gold, silver, platinum and all precious stones.
(2) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
(3) Explodes spontaneously, without warning or reason.
(4) Softens and takes a rosy glow when soaked in hot water.
(5) Greatly increased activity when saturated in alcohol.
(6) The most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USES
(1) Highly ornamental - especially in sports cars.
(2) Can be a great aid to relaxation.
(3) Very effective cleaning agent.
TESTS
(1) Pure specimens turn bright pink when discovered in
natural state.
(2) Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen.
HAZARDS
(1) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
(2) Illegal to possess more than one specimen (in most
countries), although several can be maintained at different locations provided they DO NOT
come into direct contact with each other.
NOTE :
Even the devil fears a woman.
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