Computer humor

Larry Wan

To: Tech Support
From: Software Owner

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the  new  program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space  and  valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in  the  product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all  other  programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors   all  other system activity.  Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run,  crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1. 0 from  my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but   uninstall  does not work on this program. Can you help me?

To: Software Owner
From: Tech Support

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to  a  primary misconception. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife  1.0  with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT"  program.  Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run  everything. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the   program  from the system once installed.  You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed  to do  this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end  up with  more problems than original system. Look in your manual under  Warnings -Alimony / Child Support.  I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.  Having Wife  1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire  section  regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all  responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best  course of  action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as  lockup  occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all  GPFs.  Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.