MICROSOFT SHOULD MAKE CARS, GM SHOULD MAKE
SOFTWARE.At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry
with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be
driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the
following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars
with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept
this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to
shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the
engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or
'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five
times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the
roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a
single 'general car fault' warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.
9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse
to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and
grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally
road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them.
Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance
to diminish by 50 per cent or more.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner
as the old car.
13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
|
