Actual question given on an University of
Washington chemistry mid term:
"Is Hell exothermic (giving off heat) or endothermic (absorbing heat)? Support
your answer with a proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when
it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student,
however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know
the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that
we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions
state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to
more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
(1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell,
then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.
(2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So, which is it???? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms Therese
Banyan during my Freshman year that "it will be a cold day in Hell
before I sleep with you," AND take into account the fact that I still
have not succeeded in that area, then (2) cannot be true.
Therefore, Hell is exothermic.
This student received the only A!
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