Jew, Republican

Arthur Ma

1. Paddy was walking down the street in Belfast and he discovers a gun pressing against the back of his head and a voice says, "Are you Catholic or Protestant?" Well, Paddy has to do some pretty fast thinking. He says, "I am a Jew. "And he hears a voice say, "I have got to be the luckiest Arab in the whole of Belfast."

2. A man asks his friend, "Are you planning to vote  Republican?"  The friend says, "No, I  am planning to vote Democrat. My father was a Democrat, my grandfather, my great grandfather were Democrats." The man says, "That is crazy logic. I mean, if your father was a thief, and your grandfather ,great grandfather were thieves, what would you be? "Ah, " the friend answered, "then I'd be a Republican."