I Don't Know Jack Schitt!

It has come to our attention that many customers, when questioned on various areas of system operation, have responded "I don't know Jack Schitt!". This mail will remedy that situation.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awh Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, who's married to Oh Schitt, the owner of Kneedeep Schitt Inn. Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. They produced seven children. Their first son, Big Schitt was followed by twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, then by three daughters: Im Schitt, Fulla Schitt, and Giva Schitt, and finally another son, Bull Schitt.

Big Schitt manages a public relations establishment called the Schitt House which is visited often by our computer users.

Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. Deep Schitt and Dumb Schitt now publish a newsletter named the Schitt List that recognizes our users for their various actions on the company's. Users are urged to check the Schitt List often, as it is updated daily and may contain their name.

Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt and they have a son, Chicken Schitt. Dip Schitt operates a wares company called Good Schitt. Breaking tradition, Im Schitt married Save Faced. Im Schitt-Faced is now the director of the local Drug and alcohol rehab program. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens brothers. The Schitt-Happens children are named Dawg Schitt, Bird Schitt, and Horse Schitt. The Schitt-Happens own a consulting firm used exclusively by this company. When problems happen, Schitt-Happens is an appropriate response. Bull Schitt just married a real spicy number, Pisa Schitt, and they are proudly awaiting the arrival of Baby Schitt. Bull Schitt is consulted by this company on financial matters and has input on how to run a company for profit.