Getting Old

Larry Wan

The Young Bride

An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers.

"Oh honey", said the young nymph,

"Does that mean we're going to do it three times?"

"No", said the old man, "It means you can take your pick."

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The Memory Game

Max and Sadie were getting up there in years, and they were very worried about losing their powers of recollection. So, they asked their doctor if there was anything they could do to improve their memory.

The doctor had a simple suggestion. "Any time you want to make sure you remember something, just write it down."

So max and Sadie go home, and later that night, Max is watching TV, when Sadie comes in to see if he wants anything.

Max thinks about it, and says, "Yes. I would very much like some vanilla ice cream."

Sadie nods and starts into the kitchen.

Max calls after her, "Aren't you going to write it down, honey?"

Sadie says, "Don't be ridiculous! Vanilla ice cream. Anything else?"

"Yes, I'd like some chocolate sauce on my ice cream. Don't you think you should write it down?"

"No, no! Vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce. I can remember. Anything else?"

"Yeah, why don't you give me some chopped nuts on top of the ice cream and chocolate sauce. Hadn't you better write this down, honey?"

"Relax, my darling. I've got it. Vanilla ice cream, chocolate sauce, chopped nuts. Is that it?"

"Yes, dear."

So, off Sadie goes into the kitchen, and she's gone for about twenty minutes. Then, she comes back in with a plate of scrambled eggs, sausage, and bacon.

Max looks at the plate and says, "Sadie!"

"What?" Sadie replies, "Did I forget something?"

"Yes, you forgot something," Max says,

"The toast!"

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