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Emily Choi
Ivan
Choi's Thousand Gold
Below is a
collection of international grammatical and spelling
snafus compiled by Mukul Sharma of Weekend Magazine (26
January 1996):
On a French
passenger jet:
Live West
Under Your Seat
In a Tokyo
hotel:
Is forbidden
to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to
do such thing is please not to read notis.
In a Bucharest
hotel lobby:
The lift is
being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret
that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig
elevator:
Do not enter
the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade
hotel elevator:
Please leave
your values at the front desk.
In a Yugoslav
hotel:
The
flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
chambermaid.
In a Japanese
hotel:
You are
invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of
a Moscow hotel across from a Russian monastery:
Not to
perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the
boots of ascension.
In a Swiss
mountain inn:
Special
today: no ice cream
On the menu of a
Polish hotel:
Salad a
firm's own make, limpid red beet soup with cheesy
dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let
loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's
fashion.
Alongside a Hong
Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may
have a fit upstairs.
Two signs from a
Majorcan shop entrance:
English well
talking. Here speeching American.
At a Bangkok dry
cleaners:
Drop your
trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris
dress shop:
Dresses for
streetwalking.
Advertisements
for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you
like to ride on your own ass?
At a Rhodes
tailor shop:
Order your
summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute
customers in strict rotation.
Similarly, from
the Soviet Weekly:
There will
be a Moscow exhibition of arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic
painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past
two years.
A sign posted in
Germany's Black Forest:
It is
strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that
people of different sex, for instance, men and women,
live together in one tent unless they are married with
each other for that purpose.
In a Zurich
hotel:
Because of
the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite
sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be
used for this purpose.
In an
advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth
extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Rome
laundry:
Ladies,
leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a
good time.
In a Norwegian
cocktail lounge:
Ladies are
requested not to have children in the bar.
At a Budapest
zoo:
Pleas do not
feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it
to the guard on duty.
At the office of
a Rome doctor:
Specialist
in women and other diseases.
At an Acapulco
hotel:
The manager
has personally passed all the water served here.
At a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons
cost more than common, but you'll find they are the best
in the long run.
A Japanese
information booklet about using hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and
Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room,
please control yourself.
From a brochure
of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When
passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still
obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigor.
In a Bangkok
temple:
It is
forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as
a man.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special
cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen
airline ticket office:
We take your
bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a
Moscow hotel room:
If this is
your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
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