Talk #337

I have been an "illegal" twice in my life and both times, in Hong Kong.

The first time I was an illegal immigrant, it was in 1957 when I came to Hong Kong from Shanghai and overstayed the visa. I was not old enough to understand the consequences. My parents found somebody to solve the problem. Somebody accompanied me to the immigration office and I was duly issued an official Hong Kong ID. You know this was the days before the ICAC (Independent Commission of Anti Corruption). People in HK are always very efficient.

In my last submission to Pui Ching website (12/3/00), I was tongue in cheek saying the policeman might find me as an illegal immigrant. Recently I found out that I am an illegal immigrant or worse, an illegal foreign worker in Hong Kong subject to deportation.

A few months ago, I joined a startup in Silicon Valley with the intention of starting up their branch in Hong Kong. Barely filled out all the necessary paper work and found the bathroom, I found myself in Hong Kong. Last weekend, the local Lighters had a gather together (a photo is attached here). At the dinner we talked about my "Cantonese" article then they advised me that first, it is illegal for me to walk around without carrying my ID, then even worse, it is illegal for me to work in Hong Kong without a working permit as an illegal foreign worker. The policeman, after heard my Shanghai accented Cantonese walked away, should have invited me to have some "coffee" in their branch "club house" until I can produce an ID. Then if they find a Hong Kong business card on me, they can charge me with illegal foreign workers working in Hong Kong without a working permit-subject to immediate deportation and blacklist for future entry into Hong Kong.

Consulting a lawyer and a judge friend of the immigration court in Hong Kong, I found theoretically they can raid a hotel room and if they find you are holding a meeting without a working permit, they can charge and deport you. The Hong Kong local officials are especially found of doing that to Americans-the international principle of reciprocations. It is very difficult for a citizen of Hong Kong to get a working permit in U.S. and the U.S. government "frowns" on people from Hong Kong working in U.S. without a working permit.

OK, ok, so I will hide all my Hong Kong business cards and use the one with Sunnyvale, Ca. address, and stay in my apartment all day until I have a working permit. They seldom break your doors down to deport somebody-especially in a service apartment where most of the residents are foreigners. If you can stay in your apartment, that is.

However, my Shanghai accented "shui pei" Cantonese got me in trouble again. I started my rental on 12th, so every month they issue two bills to me. The first one from the 1st to 11th, then the second bill from 12th to the month end. Last week, I went to the apartment office told them that I would like to for them to issue one bill for the whole month. They said fine, throw away the first bill, they will issue a new one. I throw away that bill.

Then on the 12th, the guard stopped me when I tried to go back to home that night-according to his computer; I am arrear in rent. No rent, no access to my apartment. It was late in the night; the office was closed. I tried to use my "sik gong ng sik tang" (by the way, an alumni of Pui Ching corrected my Cantonese here-I am learning) Cantonese to tell the guard that I have a month's deposit, so I will apply that to the rent. But the guard said the deposit is not rent (it is so obvious after he pointed out that to me. The HK people are so smart!), and you cannot go in. Luckily then a British came back, and wondered what was going on. After I explained what happened to him, he told the guard to let me in. The guard did, but told me to pay my rent tomorrow, as he will not let me in again. Ok, OK.

So I called the office next morning about the bill, the office manager told me that they print the bills once a week, it will be about a week for the new bill, and they cannot over-ride the message on the computer without payment, the office cannot credit to my account without a bill, and the office closes before the night shift guard comes on duty and the guards all have been instructed not to take any excuses. With the rent arrear, the guards can move my stuff out onto the street. It is that simple. People in HK are so efficient. Now I have three choices:

1. stay in the apartment all day-unfortunately I do not have enough food in there. The roving guards may find me and kick me out for not paying the rent-common in HK.
2. stay on the street all night, then the Hong Kong police will definitely find me as an illegal
3. gosh, I forgot to ask the phone number of that British.
4. speak English to the office manager or the guard and pretend to be a British
5. ask the office to write me a note and use that for the guard-a fantastic idea. It only worked after I spoke English to the office manager-she choose not to understand my Cantonese or my predicament or both.

These nerds in Silicon Valley invented the computers now we forgot to write with pencil and paper. What will they do to us next? Will we forget to talk? That will have a major social impact: we may not have the term "nagging wife" anymore. Now I always wait for Winnie's phone call from California, her voice sounds like music to me. She will move to HK next Jan. Now I have a question, will I learn Cantonese before we forget to talk?