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Prologue

Saturday night I saw on Channel 28 Lawrence Welk's program of the same title with forty-seven of his performers. The Lennon sisters were there.

One of them, Peggy, is married to another performer for many years, and still married. Bobby, the dancer, has all three of his partners dancing with him again. It is quite interesting to note that the partners' body weights and ages are in descending order (i.e., the oldest, the heaviest). The lengths of time being Bobby's partner are inversely proportional to their ages (i.e., the youngest, the longest). The family on Spruce Street, Mr. Wu passed away a couple of years back after a second open-heart surgery. Mrs. Wu lives in Visalia to keep the house open for the grand-daughter to visit between semester/quarter breaks from Berkeley. The son, Roy, works for NIH, where Lee-Po works. The daughter, Sally, left the Air Force, and works at BDM, or BMD, a consulting firm in Washington D. C. All told, the Champaign Music watchers do quite well except me.

The prologue is written to present a method of predicting the success or failure of a marriage on man and wife's ages, the man's wealth, political clout, fame,...etc. The milestones are my real-life history. The memories are what I remembered on Anna Nicole Smith (a playmate) and her 80+ husband of slightly over a year, Senator Strong Thurman of South Carolina, Clint Eastwood, Woody Allen with Mia Farrow, and Soong Yee.

Predicting the Success/Failure of A Marriage The method is quite simple as given in the attached figure. If the normalized age difference curve ym-yw/yw = 1-14/yw is the boundary, successful marriage falls below the curve. Data points above the curve are questionable marriages. They can be successful if and only if the man has at least one of the following attributes: wealth, power, and fame. The curve is derived with one constraint on wife's age; the wife must be seven years older than half of the husband's age (e.g., husband 60, wife must be older than 37). The two constants 2 and 7 for yw > or = ym/2+7 can be changed to other values without loss of rigor. The equation merely changes the quarter plane bounded by ym > 0 and yw > or = ym/2+7. It suffices to say that the y-axis is ym-yw/yw, or normalized age difference between man and wife, and the x-axis is yw, the wife's age. It is interesting to note that:

ym-yw/yw = 0, for all yw > 0, and ym = yw

ym-yw/yw = 1, for all yw > 0, and ym = 2yw

ym-yw/yw = 2, for all yw > 0, and ym = 3yw

ym-yw/yw = n-1, for all yw > 0, and ym = nyw

ym-yw/yw = -1, for all yw > 0, and ym = yw/n as n

approaches infinity

The curve shows the following verifiable facts: (1) Anna Nicole Smith is too young for the 80+ year old man even if he's very rich. (2) Strong Thurman broke the rule, but his political clout and power has the former Miss South Carolina fascinated for years. (3) Clint Eastwood and his wife, a Salinas news caster, are OK for him being the mayor of Carmel, ex-actor, money...etc. (4) Woody Allen and Mia Farrow are barely above the curve, but when he married Soong-Yee, the data point jumped up to the rich and powerful. So far 2,3,4 are all still married. 1 just lost her claim to half of the old guy's inheritance.

As for myself, I started out on the curve and moved into the safe zone, but we still broke up after eleven years. It is the only counter proof on the plot. I put my ex-wife and her current husband's point on to show how she moves up from my extrapolated trend. It reflects the new husband's wealth. I thought I had a chance of marrying a 32 year old about six months ago; however after plotting the point ( to the left of the ex-wife's), I know it is wishful thinking. I'm not the peer of Strong Thurman, Clint Eastwood, and Woody Allen. If I were given the chance again, I like to have the collective inputs from all lighter who care to advise. This is a plea for help, not chit-chat to boost my ego.