Talk#388

With the exception of Pat Wong and Bonnie getting back together (in last July), there has been little but depressing articles on Lighters Website raging from financial loss due to the market crash, the 911 attack, and the serious illness and close call with death of a spouse.
Asked about the concern of Anthrax attack and etc., a Lighter in U.S. told me that the best answer to terrorists attack is that we continue to live a normal life. Walter Mok's recent inspiring talk here in Hong Kong, our field trip (hiking in HK) reminiscent the girls of Pui Ching lifted my spirit.

To help lift the spirits of all of us, I invited Walter Mok along with several HK Lighters come to our apt. for a "wine, woman and song" party, with a lot of wine, reminiscent about Pui Ching or other women in our life, and sing oldie Karaoke songs. Lighters brought the old yearbook, and an old photo album full of photos of the happy days at Pui Ching.

I shared an old photo of several Lighters of fair sex ("The Party Girls"). Seeing this, one lighter blurted out, "Wow, they were prettier than I thought." Another commented, "Several of them are even better looking today than before." I heartily agree as I have met them in Toronto. Dennis Su sometimes ago accused me infatuated with girls of Pui Ching. Now with these married men saying these in front of their wives, am I vindicated?

One Lighter said how he remembered he always had the honor of picking one of the girls to the party at his home, had to undergo the stern examination of her father, and the taxi fare was expensive, but all that were well worth it. Then many would volunteer to take her home. Strangely, there were not any "happily ever after" among the partygoers. Stories flowed easily after a few glasses of beer, wine, and scotch.

Without any stories about girls at Pui Ching, I told about my recent encounter with my "red haired girl" of my grade school years in Shanghai. While she failed to remember who I was (after sitting next to her two years for grades 5 and 6!), I still enjoyed seeing her and her old photos that I asked her to bring with her. And she was very pretty.

Any way, while the food was edible at the best (we bought cooked food at the supermarket next door), with the help of lot wine, beer, old songs, and with the presence of many beautiful wives, we ate, drank, sang, shared stories, enjoyed the beautiful Victoria Harbor, and had a grand time. We lived the normal life, and the 911 seems irrelevant.

Frankly one of the happiest moments in my recent life has been getting back to the fold of the Lighters and the participation of the 40th reunion in Toronto. I am not embarrassed to say that when I met the fair sex Lighters there, I see them in the images of the yearbook, young and beautiful. One Lighter recently claimed me of living in a dream land (a polite way saying possibly I should consult a psychiatrist) when I said I was going to the bus station to see the pony tailed girl I saw there 40 years ago. OK, is living in a dreamland the privilege of the young or those under influence? After all, when Martin Luther King claimed "I have a dream" or George Bernard Shaw wrote, "I dreamed things that never were, and asked why not;" they were in their mature ages.

A Lighter asked if I am infatuated with Lighter girls then how come I never chased after them, did not ever talk to the ponytail girl at the bus station, but married a Maryknoll girl instead? Good question.

First, to win a girl's heart, you would need to talk to her. When you cannot speak good enough Cantonese to find your way home, it is easier to sell an icebox to Eskimo than to win her heart. Then young men are known for lack of self-confidence. When you held a test paper (of English dictation) with a fat zero and glanced over the girl across the isle lamenting about receiving 95, five points short of perfection, it is easier to climb the highest mountain or dive into the deepest sea than to talk to her. Besides, there were many smart, tall, dark, and handsome Lighters. I simply lacked of ability, courage, and let fear got hold of me. I will regret for rest of my life I did not tell Pui Ching girls how beautiful they were. But is now too late or better late than never?

With my wife Winnie, though raised in Hong Kong, both her parents are Shanghainese. After years in a foreign land of New York, her heart string must be touched by my Shanghainese, so this "ugly toad caught a beautiful swan" in a moment of her weakness as she will often tell me, and you know she is always right. To keep me out of trouble, I would proclaim Maryknoll girls are as pretty as Pui Ching girls or vise versa. But I will reserve my comment on how smart they are. By the way, Winnie was traveling to U.S. when we held the party.(cat is away, mice play?).
Let me get out the dream and go back to the reality. As I said before, we ate, drink, sang, shared stories, enjoined our friendship, the beautiful view of HK harbor, and had a good time. When everybody left, the wives did such a good job of cleaning up, as if nobody ever came. I have to look at the pictures to tell myself this is not another dream. Anyway, the spirits of those who came became higher, and by sharing this story with you, hope your spirit is higher. We will live a normal life and that is the best answer to the terrorists.