The Red Haired Girls of Our Life

James Koo

Since Prof. SS Lau moved to HK and started to write about HK, I will choose a different subject to write about, as he knows more about HK, and writes better than I do.

Recently my father-in-law passed away and that prompted me to feel the urgency of doing things that I should do, and things that make others and me happy. After publication of "Can you name all the names" several Lighters wrote and asked about my Shanghai grade school girl classmate that gave me so much pleasure in meeting her again.

Believe we were in the same class starting third grade, but I did not notice her existence until fifth and six grades when she sat next to me sharing the same desk. Being a 90 lb weakling, I took the opportunity to express my "manhood" of asking her not to cross the line I draw on her side of the desk. To my surprise, she readily accepted without protest. We often chit chatted in the classes and many times I was punished to stand in the class. One time, she and I had to learn a Russian folk dance, then to teach rest of the class while all the boys were laughing at me. These are the only memories I have about her.

After our graduation in 1953, I never saw her again. Somehow my impression of her grew prettier as time went by, though I totally forgot how did she look then. In 1998, I got hold of the Lighter's yearbook, and found some of the classmates were prettier than I thought. I grew even more curious as how did she look then, but understand the possibility of finding out is remote. That is just life.

But I am a lucky person. The grades school located only her among tens names I submitted. I called and she had no impression of me. I did have some preparation for this as a few Lighters even in my section had no impression of me. But I sat next to her for two years! Any way, she readily accepted my invitation of meeting with me and brought along several old photos of hers.

When we met, I would not have been able to pick her out among a group of women of our age. Nor I would have been able to pick her old photos out if mixed with photos of other young girls. However, after a few minutes we felt as if we were old acquaintances. We reminisced our grades school days. We selectively remembered different events. But once we brought them up, both of us realized how much we have forgotten, and how much we still remembered. We also talked about things after graduation. We lead very different lives since then, and I realized how lucky I have been. Counted my blessings and wondered what would have happened should I have remained in Shanghai.

This is definitely not a romantic encounter, but is one of my happiest moments. I am very thankful that she has these old photos, and was very happy to find out she was pretty then, grew up to be a beautiful young woman (attached. Another one with Larry Wan, a Lighter). That validated my taste, but more importantly, she brought back many happy moments of my childhood. Having a habit of wearing rose-colored glasses or euphemism for hallucination, I begin to see her as in her photos then (I see Winnie today as she was first married to me). You probably are tired hearing this; I am a very lucky person, surrounded by beautiful women throughout my life and married the most beautiful one, Winnie.

My experience must be very common. A lot of us probably had "the girl or boy next door," or citing Charlie Brown of Peanuts, the "red haired girl" we admired. We probably often wonder what they thought of us then, or what have they become now. The joy of meeting them is more than just meeting them but in sharing what did happen then and what have happened since. It matters not what we have become, one time we shared the same classrooms, the same playground, and the carefree innocent days. For us Lighters, the coming reunion in Hong Kong will offer us a good chance for doing so, and this opportunity may become increasingly rare as the time goes by. As we go through life only once, let us not miss it, but do it now while we can. If you have not registered yet, it is not too late to do so. I will talk to whomever necessary to waive any late charges for you. See you in Hong Kong!