talk 740

A month long trip from Hong Kong to Toronto, Michigan, Ohio, New York City, New Jersey, San Francisco and back to Hong Kong has come to an end. A dull and arduous route through much of Midwest of United States, but it brought back fond memories of years past. Opportunity to visit with many of my relatives, for some I have never met, others exceeded half a century.

While other Lighters went to a resort in Toronto area after the fun-filled, memorable reunion, Winnie and I began our journey first to Michigan and Ohio where we visited my paternal uncles and aunts range from 88 to 96 years old. The health of one uncle deteriorated with alarming rapidity in the past year alone. My Alma mater, Ohio State University has changed drastically with time as well. The facades of buildings remain the same as I last seen in 1965, but not the interiors and the people inside. Visit with my grandaunt for her 103 birthday party in New York City provided the occasion to meet, and renew acquaintances with aunts, cousins, nephews and nieces. Many of them I have not seen for decades or have never met. It was hard to say good-bye not to think about when shall we meet again. I then went to my brother’s gravesite for the first time in New Jersey, followed by a brief stop at old Bell Labs, the first time since 1973, where I devoted first eight years of my career. Again while the buildings still look the same, but the big sign says, “Alcatel-Lucent.” At both locations, I could not bear the changes, and could only stay for a short time. I resent what have happened.

I had the time to reflect on the trip during our long flight back to California. The question of allowing work overshadowed family affairs weighted heavily on my mined. I was fortunate to have both children turn out A.OK, raised almost single-handedly by Winnie; but I missed their growing up years. While it may be excusable for not visiting my Alma Mater or Bell Labs, but I also failed to take the time to meet with my uncles, aunts and etc. One uncle I last saw was in Shanghai in 1949. Since then he got married, became a widower, and I never met the aunt while ironically they lived in Toledo, Ohio, two hours by car from Ohio State. Another cousin passed away recently in NYC and I last saw her in 1970, though I was in NYC many times on business trips as recently as in 2005 while she was very much alive. Why? How come?

Back in the sun drenched California, things are more pleasant as always. On Oct 3rd, we became the proud grandparents for the first time of a baby boy. While proclaiming she has finished caring for babies, Winnie has delayed her flight and is still there helping our daughter as of this writing.

This trip, only a month long, has been tumultuous emotionally, exhaustive physically, impressionable mentally and left an indelible mark in my memory. I am grateful the Toronto reunion allowed me to seize the opportunity to have this overdue trip. It gave such immense pleasure to a person addicted to nostalgia but poor in human relations.