I Have Lived in Thailand for too long

Ivan Choy

I think I have lived in Thailand for too long. Let me tell you why.

1. I discovered that the footprints on the toilet seat are actually mine.

2. I will automatically go to the front of any queue.

3. I will force my way into an elevator before anybody has a chance to walk out  of it.

4. I will eat BBQ squid on the side walk five minutes before I have a very
important appointment with my client who is 35 floors up the building.

5. I will no long wonder how someone making 15,000 baht a month can drive a
Mercedes.

6. My meetings always ended with no decision or conclusion, except fixing a date and venue for the next meeting.

7. I am used to receiveables having 360 days.

8. I rank my staff's decision-making ability by how long it will take them to reply, "Up to you".

9. I am thinking very seriously buying a Tuk-Tuk as a family car.

10. I am now a firm believer that getting my carry-on bag from the overhead bin will save me plenty of time while the plane is about to touch down.

11. I found out the best time to go to the toilet without competing with other passengers will be the time when the plane takes off.

12. I always carry toilet paper in my pocket -- in case.

13. I won't feel comfortable if I don't have four caddies when I play golf. One carries my bag, one carries my umbrella, one carries my fold-up chair, and the fourth one will be 150 yards ahead of me when I tee-off. He will jump into the pond to retrieve the ball if I hit water.

14. I won't be able to make the putt, if the caddie does not tell me what to do.

15. I will die of thirst if the maid forgets to bring coffee to me in the morning.

To be continued